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Alex Jesus Christ hand to god I was about to comment Puke on his Shoes
Guess you have to now, Cam
i just paid 10 FUCKING DOLLARS for this eggplant yall and i am not about to WASTE it on this man's boots
This is the best advice got it in one
Just taking a big ole bite outta that eggplant like it's a big juicy apple while he'ls talking to you WOULD probably also do the trick though
Whole Foods is literally right behind my building so I go there a lot and try not to make eye contact with anyone inside so I... am sorry that you did
Just pretend you're getting a phone call you have to take
Just pretend you're getting a phone call you have to take
Edited (wait maybe you are free of him now) 2018-09-08 16:51 (UTC)
help now somoene else a lady telling me about stocks what the fuck is happening to me
you radiate an energy that makes people think "i need to help this man", but they never know what kind of help you need, so they just take swings
people come to me asking for small favours and then when i do them they start to latch on to me and now this 72 year old lady is SO EARNESTLY trying to teach me how to invest in the stock market in exchange for helping her look up a phone number on my laptop
okay here's my mistake: i always take mine out when someone talks to me. instead just be like "sorry, can't hear you, headphones" and ignore them
I AM ACTIVELY SLAMMING IT INTO ME MOUTH
I'm petrified of the bystander effect even in a grocery store when it comes to, like, people asking where the apples are
I'm sorry but I definitely laughed out loud
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